Advice for Civilians

This post results from two incidents I encountered this past week. First, if you happen to be the responsible person for a business or other building that has an alarm drop do not show up and immediately drive right up to the front door, illuminate me and my backup with your headlights making us targets, then hop out of your car and walk around also making yourself a target. Notice the cop cars parked in the shadows away from the building. That's done for a reason. We're trying not to get killed.

Second, when I am on a traffic stop with three dirtballs don't approach me to ask a question. I need to have my attention focused on the three dirtballs. I may not yet know what I have and you definitely don't know what I have. I'll be happy to answer your question just as soon as I've cleared the stop. Please be patient. Thank you for your cooperation.

Bungling Burglars

The call came out as a reckless driver. The complainant was following a white pickup truck which was weaving in and out of traffic. The passenger was flashing "obscene gestures" at other motorists. The complainant was on the phone with dispatch and continued following the truck until it turned into a neighborhood.

One of the day shift deputies arrived in the area before I did and found the truck parked in front of a house. I arrived about thirty seconds later as he was on the radio saying we had a possible burglary in progress. It seems he found footprints in a flower bed which led to a broken window. I posted myself on the northeast corner while he postes himself on the southwest corner and we waited for backup. A construction worker who was in the area gave us a description of the two dirtbags involved and said he had seen them go to the front door, but hadn't seen them since.

A few minutes later two more units arrived and we entered the house with guns drawn to clear it. In the living room a plasma TV had been removed from the entertainment center and was sitting on the floor. There were footprints on the stairs leading from the basement to the entertainment center and out the back door.

Two more units were en-route and found two males matching the description given walking through a park northbound away from the scene. They took them down at gunpoint and returned them to the scene. Miranda was read and confessions were obtained. Apparently the son of the homeowner owed these two nitwits drug money. They decided to take anything they could get their hands on as payment. They didn't seem to care that their target no longer lived in the home. They told us we rolled up just as they were removing the TV so they bolted out the back door before we set up containment.

I got to take one of these nitwits to jail which gave me a chance to break out the new "Going to Jail" playlist on my iPOD for his listening pleasure. First on the list was "We are all on Drugs" by Weezer, next was "Guilty" by Gravity Kills, then "Rape Me" by Nirvana, "Wanted Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi, and so on until "The Point of No Return" which is reserved for when we pass through the large sally port doors at the jail.... Golly that was fun! (there would be links to each of these band's web sites if I could figure out how to add them without Blogger showing each as a bullet point.... I'm no tech geek so there's no links at this time.)

It never ceases to amaze me how people who don't want to deal with the cops manage to bring attention to themselves. These two fools were no exception. I always thought if I were on the other side of the law I'd try to keep a low profile. I guess some folks haven't figured that out yet.

Fishing

Today was the second day of my three day weekend (I love working four tens). I spent it fishing with my dad. We didn't catch anything, in fact it was a terrible day of fishing, but you can't beat sitting on a quiet lake enjoying the sceneary and the company.

You again?

Well I've only been out on my own for about two and half months now, but I'm already running into the same people over and over again. This week I ran into the same bonehead for the third time.

The first time I found him he was trespassing with some friends in an open field, which is owned by one of the city council members. They were "just hanging out enjoying the nice day"... i.e. probably smoking pot. I had no way to prove the marijuana use so I kicked everyone off the property and warned them they would be cited for criminal trespass if they returned. I decided to return to the same spot several hours later. There was a car parked behind a tree and three males hanging out around it. Sure enough the same bonehead I had kicked out earlier was among them. "You again?" I asked. "What did I tell you last time?"

"I thought...."

"No, you weren't thinking, and can you explain why I smell marijuana?"

I cut this bonehead a break once already so he got cited for criminal trespass while his buddy, who said the weed and pipe were his, got cited for the marijuana possession. Buddy number two got off with a warning not to come back without permission from the property owner.

That was a few weeks ago. This week I ran into bonehead again. This time it was a call from a local fast food restaurant. Apparently a male was inside disrupting business and "harassing" the cashier.

I arrived and started talking to the manager. She said bonehead had come into the restaurant, started pushing buttons on one of the cash registers, opened the cash register drawer and then closed it when he saw her. She said she told him he needed to pay for what he rang up because her register would be short otherwise. He argued with her, and she told him to pay and leave or she would call the cops. He refused, but exited the building before I got there.

The manager said she thought he was still in the parking lot. She had a description of a blue pickup truck and a license plate number. I didn't see the truck anywhere in the parking lot. I was assuring her that I would look for the truck throughout the rest of my shift and was getting ready to leave the scene when I see a blue truck in the parking lot of an adjacent building. The driver sees me and makes a bee line for the nearest exit, and darts into a neighborhood. I catch up, note the license plate number matches the one I was given, and stop the truck. And guess who's driving?? That's right! It's bonehead.

"How many more times do I have to deal with you?"

"I dunno...mumble mumble. It's no big deal. She can just void it out on the register. By the way, the trespassing got dismissed" He said with a snide little grin

"Sir do you realized your truck hasn't been registered since January 2005?" I ask as I'm grinning from ear to ear, because the truck will soon be on the back of a recker and bonehead will be huffing it home in the rain.

"It's not my truck."

"Well then you're going to owe someone a huge chunk of change for the impound fee."

Not only was the truck not registered it had a plate from a different state on the front, and bonehead had moved and not updated his address with the DMV. He received keeper citations for it all, plus one for disorderly conduct, and the truck was towed. Man, that truck looked good on the back of the recker!