Rehab worked for me!

Last night I went to back another deputy on a drug activity call. It seems some young folks were sitting in a car on a street in a nice middle class neighborhood smoking something out of aluminum foil.

We arrive on scene and find the car moved into a driveway and a female behind the wheel. Her friends had ducked into the house. We get the friends and homeowner outside. Mr. Homeowner, who's pupils are dilated, eyes are glassy, face is twitching, and who has an inability to stand still, tells us there is no way anyone was doing drugs. Being inquisitive we ask why that is. He states, in a manner that suggests he's very proud of himself "because we are all going to a rehab reunion. We all went to rehab together and there is a reunion at the rehab center".

Mr. Homeowner's buddy who is sluggish and flying higher than a kite confirms the story. I inquire about the physical symptoms Mr. Homeowner is displaying, and the lying begins. "When I found out the cops were her I got scared and nervous. That's why my eyes look like they do". Next it was "I'm having withdrawals. Withdrawals make your pupils do the same thing as when you're high"..... and a bunch of other B.S.

Finally we let this guy know that he has nice little warrant for assault, and hook him up. The tears start flowing. "What will my neighbors think? I go to church with these people. My family will find out.... waaaaa".

"Well sir, your neighbors are the reason we are here. Apparently they already know what is going on and don't want it to continue. Perhaps you should have thought of that before now".

After having a nice little chat he finally decides to fess up and tells us they were smoking heroin and popping pills. Apparently these knuckleheads were really going to a rehab reunion and decided to celebrate by what esle? Getting high of course, and instead of the rehab center they got to celebrate in jail!